Instant Instant Gratification

We are a generation of people who need things not done now, but five minutes ago. This is an age of cell phones that can play a song in a matter of seconds, bring up a video despite where we’re at, and download an application to do practically anything imaginable on a whim. We have passed the greedy need for instant gratification of our forefathers, and moved onto the much more practical need for instant instant gratification. Life is too short, and not getting any longer. Why then should we have to waste a single breath on waiting for the thing that we want now? On demand TV gets it. This is the new millennium. Why is it that I still have to wait for water to boil to cook? Where is my food in pill form? Why is it that I have to waste an hour of my day driving to and from work and school? Where is my teleporter? That time driving could be spent on things far more favorable things. This here is a call to arms. I say, I’m sick of waiting, and more so, I’m sick of waiting for the waiting to stop. I can get movies and books downloaded right at home. There is no longer need for wasting time driving to the store for such things. I say it is time for everything else to follow. I want to download soda and food at the push of a button. Why don’t we have clothes that instantly wash themselves? Then we could wear the same clothes every day to complement our personalities like Scooby and the gang did. Why do I have to shower and brush my teeth? Why is there no laser wall that I can walk through that would instantly burn all dirt, bacteria, and germs off of me, and comb my hair? I don’t want my street cleared of snow when the plow drivers get here. There should be heated streets for my convenience that guarantee snow won’t accumulate on them. And whose idea was it that we should have to waste our precious time studying to gain knowledge? I want to be able to plug myself into the computer and download everything I want to know when I want to know it. Rooms that clean themselves, grass that mows itself, videogames that beat themselves; it is all in our reach, why is it not here yet? Why is it that I still have to allow a third of my life to deteriorate away with sleep? There should be a way for people to achieve the necessary effects of REM sleep without ever having to stop enjoying life. Also, there should be no need at this point in human evolution for a man to have to waste time to “date” and “woo” a woman. People should just get together and procreate. That is what we were made to do, and that is where it is going to go anyway. Who decided that the whole song and dance was necessary? The point that I am trying to get across is that this world could be a much better, much quicker place than it is. Imagine how much more anyone could get out of life if there was no waiting at all. Like I said, I’m sick of waiting for my instant gratification. I want it now, but I suppose I’ll just have to continue dragging my feet through this tiresome existence until someone comes up with a way to deliver on my needs, until the inevitable instant instant gratification arrives. That is after all where we are headed, so I cannot imagine it taking too much longer.